Salute this, Yoga, you bastard.
I'll never learn.
Yoga pisses me off like nothing else. Every time I try it - and I've tried it several times, on my own and with some fantastic teachers - I become infuriated, frustrated, impatient and even self-hating.
I'm not kidding.
Yoga brings out all my feelings of inadequacy, my lack of self-confidence and infuses me with self-doubt.
How does it do all that? By being too damn complicated for someone like me, who's never enjoyed moving my body around and who's never been good at it when she tried.
Today I opened up Stimulus - smart Yoga trainer because I'd promised to review it for the developer. I spent some time with it first and thought it was gorgeous.
The layout, the colours, the sounds, they all appeal to me. It's got an option to add music from the built-in iPod on my iPhone and if I decide to use only the music included with the app I can make my own playlist out of it. Brilliant!
There are almost 100 Asanas (body positions) included in the app and they are wonderfully illustrated and described. Some of them are awesome simple - Eye Training, for example - and I should probably stick to those for about a decade, but some of them have a dozen steps (it was the Sun Salutation that made me nuts, actually) and so are difficult to learn while holding an iPhone.
For a less random experience, tap on the Sessions button and select the Basic session at the top of the list. It's the only session you'll get without upgrading the app but it offers a series of poses that will last 30 minutes, providing you're already familiar and comfortable with the Asanas within.
Me, I should have known what was coming when I started having doubts that I was doing the Corpse Asana properly. That's right: I even feel inadequate pretending to be dead.
For normal people, however, I happen to think this app is fantastic. I even think it's worth the 99-cent upgrade to pro. Believe it or not, I'm going to upgrade, once I get past my fury, that is.
Yep, I'm a sucker for punishment.
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