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The last app I installed on my iPhone called me a "goody-two-shoes." I'm fine with that assessment, which is probably why How Rude Are You? labeled me a softy after completing its two-minute quiz.
In recent days, we have seen examples of behavior from the other side of the etiquette spectrum. Kanye West, Joe Wilson, and Serena Williams should all brush up on their Emily Post. Sadly, the iPhone does not yet have an app detailing Post's iconic work of teaching manners to the masses. There are, however, apps for learning how to use the right silverware and when it is most recommended to yield your seat to others on the train.
Fine Dining Etiquette: Mind Your Manners is a good resource for how to conduct yourself during formal or business-related dining occasions. Beyond instructing you not to chew while your mouth is open, the 99-cent app guides you from seating arrangements to napkin placement all the way to moving your spoon from cup to saucer after finishing your coffee. The elegant design with cursive script is a nice complement to the meat-and-potatoes information the app provides.
For advice on how to act in the workplace, Etiquette Avenue teaches best practices on how to wow the boss or send an introductory email to a new client. The $2.99 app also touches on how to conduct yourself at off-site events. This includes not spending all of your time on the iPhone.
If you are interested in mixing mischief with manners, give iConvo a try. The free app helps you avoid silent conversations by providing conversation-starter suggestions for first dates and other awkward social situations. Good luck reading the screen while also maintaining eye contact with your date or friend.
Finally, for $5.99 you can download the app-based audio book for Oscar Wilde's classic novel The Importance of Being Earnest. While it might take more than a minute or two to seep in the benefits of this tale that focuses the efforts of two 19th century men to impress their mates, you may learn a thing or two about why it pays to have manners in the first place.
Of course, as we await the Emily Post Institute to develop an app that helps set America on proper manners, a search of the Appolicious database does bring up hundreds of apps with some sort of fart theme.
From iFart to WhoopieCushion to BelchOMeter, there is no shortage of free or cheap apps that celebrate flatulence. So if you don't feel like playing nice, there is nothing quite like draining your iPhone battery while giggling like a 12-year-old.